What Must They Think!?

I’m currently enrolled in a yoga teacher training think where the group is always tasked with homeplay (homework) to finish off the course during the duration between sessions. This time, our homework was to inquire into the nature of a person’s interaction or response during our interactions.

The inquiry is something along the line of, “What must that person think to think that way?”

When I first started this practice, the first thing I found was that my answer always seemed to be rooted in the other person’s perspective. I found that I immediately went there. Perspective. It’s always perspective. But , deeper thinking when asking myself,

What must this person think to think that way?

Began to lead me to seeing the possibilities that influenced perspective. I began to categorize from the most seemingly superficial to the more visceral.

Assumptions: Typically, the inquiry on my part was always a response to being surprised or shocked by a person’s statement or reaction. I always found this to be a miscommunication caused by an assumption on their part, often in relation to judgment of character or stereotype. “Since you do yoga, I thought you would be ok in me choosing a vegan restaurant for our lunch meeting.”

Presuppositions—A statement, response, or question that takes presuppositions into account is typically harmless but is along the same lines as assumptions. A person may infer from a statement on my part a supposition because I have not clearly communicated my intent. Entire discourses have been written on suppositions, their parts, and theories as to why they exist.

But for clarity, I’ll point out that a presupposition happens on the part of the person making an initial statement from which the presupposition was drawn. Typically, it can be blamed on an assumed local context. “A person left their mat at the studio.” Being that I’m a yoga teacher, it would be assumed that I am talking about a yoga mat. Not a Pilates mat, doormat, straw mat, etc. But often we make mistakes in an assumed local context, and presuppositions can and do arise.

Experiences: Any perspective will be saturated with hues of the human experience. And like our individuality differs from one person to the next, so do our experiences. You and I may have great experiences when it comes to yoga, while another person may have received an injury from yoga and is very cautious on the subject. This is why the 200 hour Yoga Teacher Training in Rishikesh places such a strong emphasis on understanding individual needs and honoring diverse experiences, ensuring that yoga is approached with both compassion and awareness.

Human Condition: We are all faced with the same human conditions from birth and eventually have to come to a realization of these traits. Jealousy, greed, fear, desire, anger, hate, and attachment, to name a few. As we mature, we begin to learn to work around these elements of the self, but not all at the same rate. And even so, we may have to interact with people who are at drastic age differences and at opposing stages of life.

My 4-year-old once told me, “I hate you! You’re so mean.” Because I would not let her have Fruit Loops for dinner. This inquiry was easy. “Why would she say that?” She assumed I would say yes; she desires Fruit Loops. She got denied, and she’s four years old. So, even though she had to sit in time-out, I was not affected by her outburst of anger because, from her perspective, it was a manner to express her displeasure with my decision.

Deeper Meanings: Simply asking what one must think in order to think that way is only a superficial inquiry, and often, there is a superficial answer. But, when the answer is not on the surface, culture, country of origin, practices, religion, politics, education, history, experiences, childhood, family roles, etc., all come into play. Without knowledge of these dynamics that shape a person’s perspective, you may find yourself guessing at the root cause. And assuming a stance on another person’s perspective without relational knowledge to them is certainly going to lead to a false assumption.

The most difficult part of this practice was the analysis of the process of the practice. It was easy to ask myself, “What must this person think to think that way?” and most of the time, the answer was there. But when I began to dissect the practice and find a deeper meaning, it seemed futile, and I thought that maybe I missed the whole point of it altogether. This level of introspection and self-inquiry is a key component of the 300 hour Yoga Teacher Training in Rishikesh, where practitioners are encouraged to explore not just the physical aspects of yoga, but also its philosophical and meditative depths.

But as my experience in this process began to unfold, I started to see how the repetition (abhyasa) was a shortcut into compassion. We cannot have compassion without understanding and empathy. Compassion with a lack of understanding and empathy is just tolerance, and tolerance is the politically correct method of indifference. Just like practicing gratitude is a shortcut to having an open heart, I find practicing understanding another to be a shortcut to compassion.

In as much as there are innumerable methods that shape a person’s perspective, I also realize that each person practicing this process will come to differing summaries of this task. I’m interested to hear the perspectives of others on this practice of realizing perspective.